As I reflect upon this past week, I have an explosion of feelings and emotions that are bursting within me. Before embarking upon this adventure I lived a typical life of work, friends and self gratification, I was breathing but was i alive? Today, i feel a spiritual transformation that is growing inside me that simultaneously brings me joy and sorrow. The orphans of Bulgaria are in my heart, in my soul and it's something that I can't let go.
The morning before heading to Dobrich, the older children's orphanage, I sat on the balcony humbled before God. I randomly opened my bible to Ecclesiastes chapter one, and when I got to the end of the chapter, verse 18, it said "for with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." I didn't fully understand what this verse was supposed to mean, actually, I thought it sounded like a line from Spiderman.
But as I experienced the week, I began to understand; my eyes were gradually opened to the heartache of being an orphan. As an american, I had become desensitized to suffering. Suffering. I chose to ignore it. I chose to look the other way. I chose to be ignorant. I can no longer ignore it, i am no longer ignorant. I have the wisdom and the knowledge, and I feel much sorrow. The orphans of Bulgaria are in my heart, in my soul and it's something that I can't let go.
I pray that there will be a day, for these children, that there will be no more sorrow, no more pain, no more tears, no more fears. My heart cries for their future. My soul aches for their misfortune. This world is overflowing with poverty, abuse and suffering, all I know to do is to give this world to Jesus. I don't really know where this road is going, and where I am going with this new knowledge, but I know what I am going to put one foot in front of the other and walk through the doors that God opens. The orphans of Bulgaria are in my heart, in my soul and it's something that I can't let go.
The morning before heading to Dobrich, the older children's orphanage, I sat on the balcony humbled before God. I randomly opened my bible to Ecclesiastes chapter one, and when I got to the end of the chapter, verse 18, it said "for with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." I didn't fully understand what this verse was supposed to mean, actually, I thought it sounded like a line from Spiderman.
But as I experienced the week, I began to understand; my eyes were gradually opened to the heartache of being an orphan. As an american, I had become desensitized to suffering. Suffering. I chose to ignore it. I chose to look the other way. I chose to be ignorant. I can no longer ignore it, i am no longer ignorant. I have the wisdom and the knowledge, and I feel much sorrow. The orphans of Bulgaria are in my heart, in my soul and it's something that I can't let go.
I pray that there will be a day, for these children, that there will be no more sorrow, no more pain, no more tears, no more fears. My heart cries for their future. My soul aches for their misfortune. This world is overflowing with poverty, abuse and suffering, all I know to do is to give this world to Jesus. I don't really know where this road is going, and where I am going with this new knowledge, but I know what I am going to put one foot in front of the other and walk through the doors that God opens. The orphans of Bulgaria are in my heart, in my soul and it's something that I can't let go.
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